#010 The Connection Crisis, Healing From Healing + Yoga Nidra

 

Hey, friends. Welcome to another edition of The Now newsletter.

Last night, I finished the book I was reading — From the Core by John Wineland (it was pretty good, I’d give it 3.8/5 stars).

I’m probably going to share more of my learnings from that book at some stage, but for now, I have a simple request.

Can you help me choose the next book I read? 📚

I’m open to absolutely anything. Non-fiction, fiction, graphic novel, comic, kids’ book… anything!

The only requirement I have is that it’s a book that you love.

Hit reply to this email, let me know your top book recommendation/s, and next week I’ll let you know which one I’m reading. Deal?

Anyway, I hope you get some value out of this week’s newsletter.

As always, thanks for being here.

— Jonathan

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💡 One mind-expanding idea: The Connection Crisis

You’ve probably seen the headlines about “The Friendship Recession”, “The Connection Crisis” and “The Loneliness Epidemic”.

It’s no secret that people today have fewer friends and are more lonely, withdrawn, and averse to social interaction.

Things like YouTube, social media, and more recently, artificial intelligence, are rolled out as reasons why.

And we’re told it’s harder to make friends and meaningful connections as we get older.

I’ve always accepted these theories at face value.

But through personal experience, research and experimentation, I think I’ve tapped into a deeper underlying reason for “The Connection Recession”.

It goes a little something like this…

It’s harder to make friends and meaningful connections today because so many of us have dysregulated nervous systems.

Rates of stress, overwork, anxiety, depression and burnout are through the roof…

Poor diet, bad sleep habits, sedentary lifestyles, and the 9-5 grind are “the new normal”…

And yes, our addiction to digital distraction devices to “numb the pain” isn’t helping either.

All of this takes a massive toll on the autonomic nervous system.

In short, the modern way of life is a recipe for sympathetic (fight, flight, freeze) overload.

With threat detection systems on high alert, the world feels like an unsafe place filled with unsafe people.

In her book ‘Anchored’, clinician Deb Dana writes:

“… a nervous system in chronic states of threat downregulates opportunities to socially engage”

Put another way: When our nervous system is constantly telling us we’re unsafe, we’re not open to friendship or connection with others.

We shell up and withdraw from social life.

It’s no wonder so many people gravitate towards things that imitate connection — social media, porn, Netflix.

These things are Band Aids, masking a much deeper wound.

The real crisis or epidemic that’s not being talked about is population-level nervous system dysregulation.

The good thing is there are reliable ways to down-regulate from sympathetic overload and return to a place of calm, safety and openness.

I know because I’ve personally guided myself from social isolation to social connection — from chronic states of threat to safety.

You, too, have the power to alter your state and change your story.

It starts by learning about your nervous system and how to restore its natural balance.

When you feel safe in the world and safe in your body, you’ll naturally open yourself up to the wonderful, life-giving experience of meaningful connection.

If you’re interested in exploring this more, check out this week’s Life-altering Practice below.
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“We’re nourished by the essential connections to self, to others, to the world, and to spirit. These connections are grounded in the nervous system. When we are anchored in ventral safety and regulation, we are ready for connection. When we lose our anchor in ventral, we also lose our capacity for connection.” – Deb Dana, Anchored​

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🔗 One curiosity-igniting link: Healing From Healing

I’ve been thinking a lot about the pitfalls of Healing™ culture lately.

It seems like every second person on social media is doing psychedelics, healing their inner child, processing trauma, aligning their chakras and sunning their buttholes.

I don’t wanna knock this stuff. Heck, I’m kinda one of those people myself 🙋‍♂️

But I’m finding that I’m increasingly skeptical of the “healing” space.

I think it’s important to apply a critical lens to anything that claims to be “the answer” to anything (I blame being raised in religion).

This is why I was genuinely excited to discover Adam Aronovich and his platform Healing From Healing this week.

Healing From Healing “casts a critical, skeptical, humorous and compassionate gaze at Healing Culture and its ideological and political underpinnings while highlighting the relational, cultural and contextual aspects of what it means to be healthy and happy.”

He has a popular Instagram account where he mostly shares memes that poke fun at healing culture.

If you feel “triggered” by this stuff, just understand it’s revealing the parts of you that still need healing (I’m joking!).
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This week’s link is a podcast that Adam was on recently titled “A Critique of Healing Culture, Psychedelic Narcissism & Hyper-Individuality”.

It’s well worth a listen.
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🔥 One life-altering practice: Yoga Nidra

If you’re interested in exploring practices that will help regulate your nervous system, I highly recommend Yoga Nidra.
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Yoga Nidra means “yogic sleep” and it’s a deep meditation that will guide you to a state between waking and sleeping.
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It’s excellent for reducing stress and anxiety and bringing you to a place of safety in your body.
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If I were to recommend two practices for nervous system regulation, it would be Yoga Nidra and the 2:1 breathing I shared in an earlier edition of the newsletter.

I won’t provide a written “how to” for Yoga Nidra as it’s best to follow an a guided audio meditation.

There are plenty to choose from on YouTube. I quite like the ones from Ally Boothroyd.​
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There have been quite a few studies looking at the health benefits of Yoga Nidra, some of which are summarised here.

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🗣️ The Now News: Nervous System Fundamentals

I have some exciting news.

I’m releasing a free curated course, called Nervous System Fundamentals, which is designed to provide a basic overview of the autonomic nervous system and practices to help regulate it.

It’s a curriculum I’ve pulled together using publicly available resources — YouTube videos, podcasts, articles, images and more.

I decided to create it after getting contacted by countless people asking, “How do I regulate my nervous system?” and realising there was nowhere obvious to send them.

Learning about the nervous system has been life-changing for me and I really wanted to ensure this information was easily accessible for everyone.

I’m going to be sharing it with newsletter subscribers first (probably this week) so keep an eye on your inbox.
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That’s it for this edition. I hope you can experience more safety, calm and openness in your life this week.

It can be tough juggling the many stressors of modern life, but we always have the power to influence the nervous system with practices like Yoga Nidra and other meditation or breathwork modalities.

Thanks for reading,

— Jonathan